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I'm proud to be a woman because of what she said:

" A woman is not defined by her dating choices or lack thereof. Your value is not dependent on how many men are willing to go out with you. What's much more important is whether you are a decent person, one who cares about others and who acts on principle and in accordance with good values."

MP & Lawyer Indranee Rajah, Sunday Times Lifestyle L3, Nov 5 2006

Celebrate womanhood! This is what we should be.

{/11/05/2006 03:15:00 pm}

sweet sensation XD

finally. he said it on behalf of the rest.

it felt really bad. i must have made him feel bad. i'm sorry.

what a way to end school. to find out that the whole bunch of people whom you've thought you were closest to, _ _ __ _ _ _ you.

it's not fair to blame them actually. i admit i must have been unreasonable. unreasonable to be over- _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _, _ _ _ _ - _ _ _ _ _ _.

i'm really sorry. cos i really and truly didn't know.

sorry i couldn't take the hints. my six sense was right though, i could feel the tremour building up during the OCS visit yesterday. i must have been a transparent reckless fool. it was as though i wasn't invited and yet i just put myself beside them, without shame. how stupid, how stupid, how stupid of me. seriously, all i can feel is the stupidity of myself. stupid to make people around me feel unbearable. stupid not to take the hints of her snapping at me almost everytime i see her. stupid of myself to think i was 'one of them'.

no, i'm not. and perhaps never will be. because i can't bring myself to and perhaps they'll never truly want me there anyway. i'm just a second-intaker.

i must be such a failure. the ugly truth is, to pass promos (be over-concerned) and forget the people around me. not forget maybe, fail rather. get an F for EQ.

i rather they be honest with me. even if it sounds ugly. i can take it. even if i can't, i won't cry in front of you. i won't break down so easily. please.

i must such a gullible fool. he said they have been hinting all along. i must be really blinded to think the world is still the pretty barbie world where the sky is blue, the sun shines 24h a day, the daffodils are blooming. i must have been too simple to be contented with people who may smile at you all day long, but i seriously don't know what they can say behind your backs.

i must have been acting all my life. becoming 'high' when i'm not. i rather not be. to match or not to match. it's tiring to live your life like a drama serial. its so sordid. so neausating. so repungent.

wake up, girl! this is reality of life. there must be some self-control. even if you don't like it, you must bear with it. it's only 2 weeks more. no walking out like in drama serials, no standing in the highest part of the world and screaming your lungs out. i think i must have lived under a rock for years.

change but not conform. withdraw but not isolate. it's very hard to do that. it's very hard to pretend you like it when you don't. i'm not pretentious, i'm sorry. i don't lie. because i must be so easy to read and so open that i must be so thick not to get what they have been trying to tell me.

just 2 weeks more right? after that, you can just pretend none of it happened and just get on with life. go back to what you were before you evolved. numb yourself and just DON'T CARE at all. just don't care. just don't care. just don't care.

I DON'T CARE.

swen is perhaps right again. maybe i say too much and listen too little. it's time to just take on the bo-chap/heck care/quiet attitude for once. sit back, watch what people say and keep things to yourself. thinking too much is bad, another said.

this will perhaps be the last post. honestly, i shouldn't be blogging for people to read or to know about me. the blogger is just an entertainer, nothing more. when a blog goes public, there are lots of things to be concerned about - people's reaction, feelings ect. from then on, you're not going to be true to what you feel. from now on, i want no one to know about me except my family and SC friends.

goodbye.

{/10/26/2006 04:06:00 pm}

sweet sensation XD

Swen's blogging less and less. Always look forward to reading his posts cos they seem so cheem and unique. oh...but i like to read his comments too...oi swen! blog lei...quite boring you know.

Found this on internet while doing PW. well, it's meant for pw anyway:

Red

The colour red symbolises heat, energy, willpower, fire, strength, anger and circulation of the blood. It is associated with activity or movement, passion, sexuality, materialism, vitality, survival instincts, forceful nature, fear, strong will or conviction, loyalty, motivation, generosity, abundance and playfulness. Red is the emotional colour relating to the reproductive system.

Red has the longest wavelength and the lowest energy of all visible light. It is the first colour to be seen by babies.

Used as a general tonic, it is very valuable in the treatment of diseases like low blood pressure, rheumatism, paralysis, and any blood anemia and advanced cases of tuberculosis.

Its significance and your inclination towards it

A person who likes red is passionate, full of energy, and is good at making money. Red personalities when in their true red mode are sexy and seductive. These energetic personalities crave for attention and get it too.

Quick to give answers to any question, they feel they know everything. If they don't and it is proven they don't, you will find them trying to learn why. They are not frightened of not knowing the answer but only of appearing stupid.

Because they are quick moving people, they want everything done in a hurry. When tired, however, they have to rest immediately. Once they have taken a quick nap they are up and ready for almost anything life has to show them. Red personalities feel invincible and others tend to think they are.

Red is the colour for someone who wants to be powerful and in control. Business people wanting to make a mark wear the power colour red to meetings. The red personality makes one feel more energetic or activated.

Reds do not make good leaders. They do, however, make good followers, provided they are lead wisely. They have no compunctions in doing whatever it takes to get the job done in the manner needed.

Being quick with their emotions, they may erupt into a temperamental volcano right in front of you then simmer down just as quickly.

Red personalities, though, do have a tendency to go off on tangents. Their attention span is not all that it should be. When focused, they are very strong in their determination.

Reds are quick minded, brilliant people who may not be well educated but are quick with answers because they have lived the circumstances. Red also promotes feelings of rage, violence, anger, hostility and rebel when used in excess. The colour should not be used with people with high blood pressure or anxiety.

Red oranges are not only dynamos but love the outdoors and anything to do with people. Red with blue overtones can be energetic people with high emotions.

Source: http://tools.apollolife.com/colors/colors_base.asp#top

you can try this webbie and click on all the colours. i like red and pink, you see.

{/10/08/2006 11:09:00 am}

sweet sensation XD

I must be the luckiest girl in the universe.

I have the greatest family.

Bestest friends. Wonderful school to go to.

Exciting events everyday. Good books to read. Nice musicals to watch.

It's so hazy these days.

Yesterday's outing was fun. We watched You, me and Duphree. Oh wow, there was much a rather substantial amount of sexual content...well its NC16. hehe. the guys were seriously a little off (as in hormones). but seriously, i must have seemed dumb cos i didn't know there was this dumb vibrator which was of a certain significance until Yingjie and Chin Ying finally enlightened the innocent me. haha. Justin was laughing like mad during the whole movie and was attempting to steal popcorn from Yingjie. ooo wow...would you get a vasectomy if your father in law asked you to? no way. that's a little extreme. not nice. that was a monster-in-law indeed.

ohhh. i finally found The ONE.ok. it's a book, not a person. well, i've been looking for it like mad on thursday and only realised yesterday that i was looking at the wrong author. but it costs $34++...my god. i think i'll wait for the 20% discount. but its a new genre of books...chick lit. uh huh.

{/10/07/2006 09:51:00 am}

sweet sensation XD

what if you had to take care of your best friend's girl? when her daughter is one she had with your boyfriend?

read 'My Best friend's Girl' to find out.

{/10/06/2006 10:05:00 am}

sweet sensation XD

ageing. it's a natural process.

yes. i don't want to age. neither do i want the people around me to age.

I was at my grandma's nursing home yesterday. It's been a rather long time since i've stepped into a nursing home. For me, it was a different experience. What i saw was a different side of life. Life that was bidding its time, life that was waiting to die. The old grandmas were just sitting around, waiting. waiting. for whom? family, friends, death?

it was a really depressing state. you see them helpless. fighting illnesses and you being young and able, yet not being able to help them. ageing is a natural process which makes me hate it even more for not being able to stop it from occuring because i have no power over it. it's painful to see your loved ones age. whether it is gracefully or not. with style or not. i just don't want to see them suffering.

i wish no one aged. growing up means responsibilities, means protecting someone else instead of being protected by someone. i want the world to be a happy world. what we see here in Singapore is different from the LEDCs. here we worry about ageing and illness. we see our loved ones die from ageing and illness. in LEDCs, its seeing your loved ones die from hunger. different forms of death. but we go through the same feeling don't we?

{/10/05/2006 10:42:00 pm}

sweet sensation XD

do people stay together because of:

1) committment
2) love
3) friendship

some people marry their 'best friends'. some marry their love. some stay committed.
but honestly, which will last you for the longest time? yes, for the longest time...

winston asked once, 'would you marry someone you can live with or someone you cannot live without?'

i gathered divided and mixed responses.

some say it would be the former. hmm, i would view them as romantics.optimistic people full of hope and ideals in their love life. but somewhat unrealistic?

the latter are people who are practical. makes the right choice which will benefit them. Theo and Jamie and I chose this option, qouting Theo for her reason, she said 'it'll bring you happiness in the long run.' nice.

sometimes i wonder if love really lasts. if there's such a thing called love. love is just some spontaneous combustion that occurs between two people who click. like combustion, the flame dies. the flavour just gets bitter and bitter with time.

sometimes i think it is committment that causes a relationship to last. the committment that binds. because of integrity and committment, you're forced to stay beside the person no matter how boring life gets, how un-spontaneous your love is. your conscience just tells you ' you can't leave her/him'.

friendship. few would marry for this. but this lasts longer than love i guess. so would you rather marry for this than for love? Some say there is no such thing as platonic love. one must love the other more even if its in a friendship. then how do we distinguish friendship from relationship?

{/10/05/2006 06:33:00 pm}

sweet sensation XD